I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
