She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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