Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
