there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
