i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize