JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Randomize
