So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
