Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
