I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
