Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize