that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
