tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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