can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
