i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
