I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He told me they were just razor bumps!
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
