I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
