We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
