can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
