He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
