dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
