brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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