I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
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