I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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