i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
