I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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