I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
