: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
