he puts the penis in happiness.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
