Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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