Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
