This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
