i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
