Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize