Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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