NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
