I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's shark week go big or go home
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
