I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
