Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
