Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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