I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
