Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize