I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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