Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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