all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
We are two peas in an std pod
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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