Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
