just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Come on in and take your pants off
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