Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just found puke in my bra..
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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