i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
