there's paper in my vomit.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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