Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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