Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
