I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
