People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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