I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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