I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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