fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
