in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
