Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
