Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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