Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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