That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
