I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
