he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
